i refuse to surrender my dignity today....

Lots of capable people have treated me while i am here in the hospital, and in typical Bea-fashion, i have had one stellar resonant relationship, which was just what i needed to make it through. {i often pray for people encouragement -- not everyone has to get me at a soul level, but it helps me immensely when SOMEONE does.  The Divine has answered that request so many times that i now often ask generically and then wait, curiously, for who is going to show up in response (usually the Divine gifts me with MORE than i would know to ask for...)  Sometimes it's a new person in my life, other times it is an existing relationship that shifts in the significant way that i need to take the next step graciously}

how happy i am that TJ started his new job here, and was my night nurse every night i was in the hospital.  he has the ability to tease me, the willingness to dance for me (agreed to if i didn't have to go from surgery to ICU so i held him to it!), the graciousness to listen and to talk, the subtle awareness to observe "you're not yourself at the moment, what's up?" 

we agree, TJ and i, that i am so incredibly blessed...  doing well and have an awesome wide and deep network of friends that care about me and reach out to me...  i try to hold you all lightly, but appreciate you more than i will ever be able to express.

so, what have they done to me here?  took out c4 entirely, disks above and below, and inserted a spacer bone from a cadaver in that place.  Plated in front, screws to c3 and c5.  they've taken x-rays, i am curious to see them! LOL -- a picture is worth a lot in this case!  no doubt i'll happily set off some airport alarms going forward.

i'm healing nicely, swallowing well, incision looks good, pain levels down significantly... so i'll take this reality for the moment, and enjoy it! i'm on temporary restrictions, but expect that will be quite similar to what i was doing pre-surgery to compensate for the pain -- altho i didn't have myself on no-drive or <8lbs-lifting status!

haven't met with the oncologist yet -- will expect chemo pause of a month or so -- not sure what else we'll do in the meantime, but we do have options (ha! lots of things to do to Bea... what should the roulette wheel land on for this week)