I'd decided even if they wanted to give me chemo today, i wasn't interested in taking it. Dr. Harker said he was also willing to let me rest. (He's my favorite doc by the way, and i told him so today -- figured if i was telling everyone else i really liked him, i should tell HIM too! LOL)
I will have a radiation mapping consult next week, but will continue to defer radiation for a while. Have the chemo scheduled for the next round (2 drug dates) -- we will likely re-assess after 3 rounds (total of 6 drug dates) to see how the liver is doing and then decide whether to pause for radiation or continue chemo and do radiation at the end of scheduled 6 rounds. (late-may time frame)
Dr. M was nice about things too -- said he finds me appropriately upset about a major life event and is not worried about my mental health at the moment... it meant far less to him than it did to me to have that "disorder" diagnosis in my chart. guess i need to swallow my pride and move on!
the nerve damage is expected to be temporary (parts of my upper body feel like your cheek does after going to the dentist -- doesn't particularly hurt, but not typical either)
on the whole, in a happy place -- sleeping well, healing nicely, eating adequately... my knees are complaining because i ask a lot of them in this no-bend/no-twist world, but not horribly so
so i will smile and take this reality as a beautiful almost-spring day
Dear Bea,
ReplyDeleteEilene called me yesterday to talk for a few minutes. (I was speechless!) I think about you every day and didn't know how to follow your progress with her gone but she told me about your blog. I read it from bottom to top and have to tell you how much I love your sense of humor and your gift of expression through your writing. I am enlightened and inspired by your amazing perspective. You are in my prayers and I will continue to follow your journey of hope and healing.
Love, Lila
I was thinking the same thoughts as Lila expressed. Thank you for sharing your journey with us and for keeping us close. Thank you for remaining the amazing, delightful person that you are. May all of us who care about you remember to return the favor and lift you even as you lift us. We are all in this together. Your sunshine is our sunshine, and so we spiral upward together.
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