"Baby is home now"

So i was in the room when my friend asked her phone to construct a text from voice... she did say "Bea is home now" and pressed send before proofing what the phone thought she said....

LOL

so Baby Bea is out of the hospital, doing very well.  yes, there is still pain, but it is different and much more manageable pain, so i'll take it and enjoy the healing process, expecting that the muscles will readjust to the expectations of my current neck length...  why not expect things to get better and better in that area?

oncology/pain doctor visits tomorrow and radiology next week. followup with the neurologist in about 5 weeks to insure that it is knitting together appropriately.  at first the neurologist said he expected a chemo break for me, but as i was discharged he said he cannot mandate that, so would leave it up to the oncologist and me to determine when i restart the drill...

two months ago (December 14th) i had visited the clinic and scheduled a mammogram. how dramatically my life has changed on the surface since then!

Jon Kabat-Zin does a lake meditation where he talks about the rough wind-whipped surface of the water and asks you to look beneath that to the depths that are often mellow/calm/placid, even when the storm continues to froth the topside of things.

the awesome part about my little life lake is that it has the depth he speaks of, but it also has moments of mirror-like reflection of a beautiful sky on the surface too!! WOOT! to have a team of capable people treating me, to know that i have appropriate drugs for my symptoms, to honor the pain without telling myself to tough it out because it's just the ongoing rib/sneeze/ouch cycle that i walked for so long... very nice!

primary accomplishment for today is going to be a shower.   not supposed to get my incision wet, so have a guard and instructions to blow dry myself if i get damp...  and after all that will be beautiful to smell better and have clean hair and hopefully sit in a sunny spot of the apartment and bask in the late-winter light...

maybe i'll read a bit, maybe not... maybe i'll just breathe and relax! LOL