not the worst thing to happen to me

TinyWords will send you an email of haiku/poem... today's offering was poignant to me:

reminding myself
this isn't the first sunrise
she didn't see ---
just the first we saw
without her

-Jean LeBlanc
http://tinyurl.com/cuc63pf

have to collect my thoughts on other matters before i'll post about them -- so stay tuned! LOL  {it is a bit of a pissy rant, but due to soon have a happy ending, so think i'll wait to whine until there is good news to share}

recovery day in the grand schedule -- feeling pretty good, tired and a bit lightheaded, but not in pain (i tend to set the shoulder discomfort issues outside the pain bubble -- just nerve sensation as it regrows...  guess i'm impatient and don't want to wait the three to eight MONTHS that it could take... but even with that, it improves and i am happy to be blessed with a situation that can recover -- would be walking a different path if the nerve damage was permanent).

had the pleasure of breakfast with a friend this morning.  for the most part when people ask me these days what i need, the #1 thing is "quality time" -- i treasure when people sit with me and bring pictures of their kids and tell me stories of their lives...  it is such a profound gift to be in a community and be able to exclaim about how grown up their kids have become and hear about their latest adventures...  it nurtures me at a soul level and makes me feel welcome and connected to a bigger tapestry of life.

one of the most interesting observations *I* made this morning was "this is not the worst thing that has happened to me"   Perhaps that is surprising, but cancer doesn't get the #1 nasty slot in Bea's life to date....  i have always known i was mortal and figured i would have disease and accident and injury and age to deal with -- somehow i expected it and don't see it as a vicious thing.  it is hard, but somehow at the moment easier than i had imagined it could be...

every day is different.  i guess i could find that this experience does inch itself up the misery spectrum into the pinnacle of awfulness... but for today, it's not and i am grateful.