trust that i can face it graciously. trust that it is OK enough. trust that there are blessings in all aspects of the situation, no matter how it turns out.
trust in the timing (sometimes i beat myself up that i didn't fully recognize what i was facing earlier -- that somehow my random oblivion/denial is bad/wrong -- and the pain of a ugly storm is somehow punishment for that inattention)
THEN i have someone like Panache remind me that it's pointless to live in what-if and what-might-have-been... and to rejoice in what is, in all it's complexity
and to trust that today's experience IS MY LIFE and that i can be entirely myself in it, rejoicing... and that fully embracing the experience that i'm having, making decisions based on my current understanding and keeping the best aspects of the situation in the forefront is enough...
so last week the dr recommended i use one of my nausea meds for insomnia. went and did research on that possibility -- some get addicted within 7 days of contiguous use... hmm... not that interested in adding med prescription issues to the mix! so i think i will continue to look for other less-impactful ways to manage the situation -- and use the time for "rest" if sleep isn't coming
because rest is good (sleep might be better, but i'll take the rest!)
Hey Bea. Thinking of you! *<[:)
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