Ikigai

I went to visit my neighbor Alice this afternoon -- astonishingly sweet and vibrant lady and prolific quilter... she says she gets up every morning and tells herself "life is good!" and goes off to work on whichever project she's the most interested in -- quilts in the living room, quilts in the tv room, turned her master bedroom into a piecing studio

she'd saved a goodbye note from a costco employee where he had introduced the Japanese term Ikigai -- "reason for being" -- she firmly believes that her health and longevity comes from having something joyful that she can get up and do each day -- so she will turn 97 next week, and is the oldest lady in the community  {shh, i'm the youngest but not worth bragging about THAT!!!}

i agree with her that it is great to have something to look forward to

and i agree with her assessment that MY life is pretty sweet, all things considered

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i had a friend ask me how much of a "Bea-filter" is applied to these posts -- am i hiding behind a Pollyanna facade and in reality miserable...

the answer is yes, and no.

i have my miserable moments, and sometimes quite anxious and willing to indulge in a pity party.  there are days that i would tell you chemo was easier than the current muddiness (at least i knew i was SUPPOSED to feel rotten -- now if i have a rotten-feeling day i wonder if it is just the weather or a virus or whether there is an ominous reason...)

but on the whole, most of the time, most of the days (even when i've felt profoundly sorry for myself at some point) i would tell you "life is good!"

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i need more clarity about my job and where i live. i need something to look forward to (yes, another trip is likely!!!) i need to remember to be kind to myself, first and foremost, and not take myself too seriously...

for instance, i could be up in arms about my eyelashes -- the ease with which they fall out astonishes me and does make me worry...  but as Mary pointed out (humorously, accurately) i was previously blessed by abundant luscious lashes, so now i am in the middle of the normal range!!! LOL  so then why should i let that make me permanently upset?

quilting makes me happy -- it can be a slice of my ikigai.  and i just need to fill up the rest of my day with the other aspects of a well-rounded human and continue to appreciate it all, even the icky bits -- after all, they do serve a purpose: i can guarantee you that after a miserable day, the status quo is sweet indeed!