Happy Thanks-Giving

for many years, i have had a habit of reminding myself what i am grateful for, usually by putting together a list.  this year i might be a bit eccentric.

i am indeed quite grateful for:

• friends
• fabric
• computers
• food that tastes good in spite of metal-mouth
• heating pads
• ice packs
• fuzzy socks
• a sense of humor
• adequate funds
• the beauty in the earth
• peace and safety... so much of the world doesn't have this!  the Syrian refugees are especially on my mind at this time, betrayed by their homeland and the terrorists, unwelcome when they didn't do anything to start a civil war and victims of drama they would rather not experience
• the ability for nerves to heal
• patience when that healing isn't happening as fast as i would like
• magnesium oil -- this has been INCREDIBLE for night cramps in my legs [my sister had cream that i used while she was here -- i didn't find that in the stores here, but this spray oil is even more magical]
• less pain -- i'm not watching the clock any more, which is wonderful
• color
• Penelope Bateman -- the massage therapist who has worked on my body, week in and week out... i doubt i would be doing nearly as well without her.  and she doesn't even mind if i call her a masseuse, as she sees that as the french equivalent of massage therapist...

what good thing can i say about chemo? i believe it is working.
today i would say i feel like i have been run over by a truck... and perhaps not even a typical truck, but one of those oversized ones:

i guess a day at a time still applies, as well as that sense of humor.
one of the challenging things is when people ask (in kindness) "how many rounds do you have to do?"
and i reply "until it stops working... and then i get a different cocktail"

it makes me sad. i guess it shouldn't, but one of my coping mechanisms before was the assurance that i could deal with any unpleasantness in a time-boxed scenario... i circled the end date on my calendars and counted down to it.

now i'm counting the rounds, but perhaps i shouldn't.  doesn't really matter...

my stress monkeys have an attitude

but in the grand scheme of things, all is well enough