Coming up on two years of this walk...

Two years! Not very long, and seemingly forever... sometimes i don't even remember how my pre-cancer life trudged along... and other times i miss it most poignantly, chafing against the rocks i now carry... Thankfully when i get into too big of a funk about it all, i can simply stop and get back in the moment of NOW and smile about something... even if it is as simple as how the snow is coating the leaves outside my window.  Much to be grateful for!

I went to the radiation oncologist yesterday -- and we looked through all my pictures and talked about pro/con of various radiation treatments -- balancing the potential benefits against the risks and side effects... and at the end of the experience, decided that now is not the time for me to get zapped.  but as she said, that could change at any time, so the door is open for that adventure...  some locations are easier to treat than others, and a few locations can be treated more than once if necessary, but not everything can be treated all at once (too many tumor sites, too wide-spread, too much collateral damage), and no site can be treated ad nauseum (after ~3 times, not such a good choice, although she said the ways in which radiation damages the surrounding blood vessels make the site less attractive to cancer, so it is unlikely that a properly-treated site would need more than 3 if it was going to work at all)

I keep trying to pay attention to the happiest parts of my experience... thus i came home from the doctor and dived into the sewing room (i spend less time there these days because of working)  Came away with a quilt top ready for stitching! WOOT!!!

Work is going well; will know mid-January if it is a long-term project or just a brief respite.  i am a bit torn on that -- hoping for long term because it makes my life make more sense... willing to deal with a brief respite too, because i could happily wander back up to Spokane or plan that European vacation or go to Seattle or Atlanta or Cali or or or...

I used to say i thought there was gypsy blood in my soul, since at my core i have a great deal of vagabond energy, mixed with a huge swath of home-body energy -- perhaps like yin/yang, they balance each other out...  i tend to put down deep roots, even though i like to range far and wide and have new experiences.