One of the things about this adventure is managing the mental thrash that can happen... i continue to seek the middle path between denial and paranoia -- knowing either extreme is unhealthy but that the balance point is almost a knife edge of subtle assessments.
As i am feeling better from chemo, i exert myself too strenuously or sometimes sit too long -- then i am sore and i have to ask the resulting pain if it is "normal?" or "fluke?" or "danger, will robinson!!!"
two months on hormone therapy... and i worry if it is being effective enough. finally my anxiety escalated to a level where i was willing to contact the oncologist. and he shares my concerns that the lump in my breast is larger... although hormone therapy can take up to 6 months to be effective, it also sometimes doesn't work (no amount of time will flip the switch)
My options: i could remain in "wait and see" mode (nah, not taking that one!) -- if i want a tweak to my meds, then need to insure that i am in menopause so that additional drug options are available...
Options for getting me to menopause involve removing/disabling my ovaries through one of the following: monthly shot, radiation, surgery. All of them have some pro/con, and in the grand scheme of things expect each could be appropriate for some people.
for me, I choose surgery. Consult tomorrow, will schedule laparoscopic procedure from there... and then amend drugs about two weeks after that.
so far i don't have a crystal ball, and doubt one is made to accommodate this situation. so i will continue to take it a day at a time and make the best choices for me on the day at hand, given what i know at the time...
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