Opportunities to trust continue to come my way... :)

 

Happy to have another drug day behind me... no problems with my port and the sweetest compliment from one of the  nurses ("i'm always glad when you are here... you have the most infectious laugh!") -- she also said i just might not get relaxed hair out of this experience... most people's regrowth starts out curly and relax as it grows... mine shows little inclination to settle into anything else!

I remain anxious, and keep reminding myself that i don't have to wind myself up about the things i cannot change... so giving myself a short list of things i need to do today/soon and just keep breathing through the other things that i can't influence yet.

as this quote says, i can choose to reframe my experience in the most positive, optimistic point of view, happy for the place that i am NOW instead of where i was a year ago (a year ago yesterday i had port surgery and just getting a bit of insight into the storm i was facing)

Fiona and i were talking about how fortunate we are to have so many vegetables available to us in winter -- even a generation ago, winter options were dramatically less varied... and we have in the US an astonishing abundance and variety.  all i have to say to myself is "hmm... what do i want?" and make it so...  last night i steamed a wonderful head of cauliflower and smiled as i put pepper and a bit of blue cheese on it (grinning because it was one of the hardest sacrifices of chemo for me, silly goose that i am)... today i put a crock pot on with turkey soup and took a nap and puttered knowing my bones were having their own grumpy experience and i just had to trust the process...

Happily, tomorrow has every indication of being an easier day -- i'll have leftovers and sunshine and new meds [yes, better living by medication can also be part of the mix] -- and i'm sure i have plenty of sewing projects i could work on if i were of a mind to be motivated...

but i will be kind to myself if all i do is put my feet up and breath and remind myself, moment by moment, to trust the process!